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Tag Archives: Time-Outs for Adults

Why Rate Your Anger?

05 Monday Nov 2012

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Healthy Mind

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Acceptance, Accepting What Is, Act vs React, Anger, Anger and Parenting, anger level, Anger management, Decision Making, Frusration, Healthy Mind, Impaired Judgement, Rage, Rate Your Anger, Relationships, Shift Your Anger, Time-Outs for Adults

When was the last time you felt steaming mad and ready to blow? On a scale of 1-10, low levels of anger and frustration are a 1-4, while higher levels of anger, above a 7, can feel intense, and may impair your judgment and decision-making abilities.

When we are aware of how we feel, and to what degree we feel angry, then we can know how best to act rather than to react.

With low to mid-range levels of anger, it may be enough to look at a situation and consider your options.  One option may be to accept what is, rather than how we want it to be or wish it was. For example, if you have a challenging child, it would be wise to accept and parent “that child,” rather than the one you wish you had. The same concept can be applied to relationships with a mate, friends and people you work with, as well as with other life situations.

If your anger level is a 7 or above, it is wise to hold off on making important decisions or driving. Take a time-out from the situation and do something physical, go for a walk, a run, do jumping jacks or stair climbing. If you need immediate relief, try washing your hands and/or face with ice-cold water. It can often shift the way you feel.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

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Have You Ever Put Yourself in a Time-Out?

26 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Family Fun, Healthy Mind

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Calm Down, Decision Making, Emotional, Get Clarity, Overwhelmed, Parenting, Self care, Take a Break, Time to Think, Time-Outs, Time-Outs for Adults

Have You Ever Put Yourself in a Time-Out?Time-outs are generally thought to be used with children, yet they can be very useful for adults too!  The purpose of a time-out is to take a break from a situation, usually to calm down and then to be able to think about the situation.

When an adult wants to take a time-out, it is respectful to let the other person or people, even your children, know that you are taking a time-out/a break to calm down and think, rather than walking away or storming off.

Just like for children, adult time-outs should be short, about 10-15 minutes.  Then check in with the other person.  If you are not ready to resume the conversation then you might propose to table the topic until later that day or the next day, to give yourself time to get clear on what your position is and what you really want to say. This can be used when you need time to think about a punishment for a child, when you are feeling overwhelmed and can’t think clearly, when you feel too emotional to make a wise decision, or when a decision needs to be made and you are feeling pressured.

A time-out can be taken in a quiet room, this includes the bathroom, or sitting or walking outside.  It is best not to go for a drive when you are feeling emotional and may be unable to focus, although it would be okay to sit in your car to take a time-out.

It’s good modeling for your children to see you use time-outs for yourself, as a good thing to regroup your thoughts and feelings, rather than as a punishment.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

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