Ask For What You Want

25 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Healthy Mind

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Anger, Asking, Asking For What You Want, Beating Around The Bush, Being Direct, Complaining, Disappointment, Emotion, Getting Your Needs Met, Healthy Lifestyle, Healthy Mind, Mental health, Rejection, Relationships, resentment, Suffering in Silence

How often do we complain, blame and criticize when it would be so much easier to just ask for what we want? Why is it so difficult to be direct rather than beating around the bush or expecting that people should know what we want? We often wait, focusing on what we don’t have, and suffering in silence while building anger and resentment.

What would it be like to simply ask for what we want? That would require us taking responsibility to get our own needs met, and to be open to the possibility that if we ask, we may not get what we want. Which is worse, feeling the disappointment or rejection of asking and not getting, or not asking in the first place?

No one person can provide all of our needs. We may have to rely on friends or other support to help us. If we don’t ask for what we want and seek ways of attaining what is important to us, we most likely will not get it.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

Is Overeating Preventing You From Reaching Your Full Potential?

18 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Healthy Body

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Awareness, Cholesterol, Effects of Overeating, Emotional Distress, Healthy Body, Heart disease, High Blood Pressure, Hypertension, Mindfulness Eating, Overeating, Physical Disease, Poor Self-Image, Reaching Your Full Potential, recognizable symptoms, Relationships, triglycerides, Weight Gain, Work

If a plant gets too much water or sunlight it dies or doesn’t grow to its full potential. If a human eats too much food on a regular basis, it too doesn’t grow to its full potential, creating physical disease and a poor self-image that can affect all areas of life from relationships to work.

For us humans, the effects of overeating generally are not immediate. The first evidence of overeating is usually weight gain, and that may not be immediate, but rather tends to “creep up” on us. It may take decades for illness to set in. Many people are not aware of having high cholesterol, high triglycerides, high blood pressure or heart disease, because these don’t have recognizable symptoms until they become severe enough.

Being mindful of both what and how much you eat and drink, is the first step to awareness, regardless of whether you want or are ready to make any changes.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

Put Your Oxygen Mask On

11 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Healthy Body, Healthy Eating, Healthy Mind

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adequate sleep, Basic Needs, Breathing, breathing exercises, Creating a Healthy Lifestyle, Eating Well, fruit vegetables, Health, Healthy Lifestyle Habits, Healthy Snacks, Meditation, Mental health, Oxygen mask, Relationships, Self care, Sleep, Water, Whole Grains

Creating a healthy lifestyle is like putting on your oxygen mask on. When we take care of our basic needs we have so much more to give, making us better partners, better parents, better friends, better employees or employers, and just better human beings.

Let’s start with breathing. Take a deep breath. Breathing is one way to calm our nervous system, reduce stress and restore clearer thinking. Meditation or breathing exercises that include slow deep breaths are like putting on an oxygen mask.

Next to breathing, eating well and often enough are vital for your body. When we get too busy it’s easy to choose something quick to eat that may not be very good for the functioning of our body. Aim for more fruit, vegetables, whole grains, and remember to hydrate with plenty of water. For snacks, apples, pears and almonds are quick and easy to eat at home, when traveling, at work, or when out and about.

Sleep is vital. In fact, it may be one of the most important things you could do for your body. Getting adequate sleep allows for regeneration, repair and healing of your cells. Sleep also affects your hormones that and regulate your body systems and everything from mood to weight.

Without your oxygen mask on you can’t respond to an emergency, yet alone daily life.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

Are You a Rose, Tulip or Daisy?

19 Monday Nov 2012

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Healthy Mind

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Dating, Finding a Good Match, Friendships, Getting Your Needs Met, Healthy Mind, Job Search and Interviewing, judgement, looking for a new job, medical practitioner, new friendship, Rejection, Relationships, Respecting Differences, Synergy, Values

Whether you are dating, looking for a new job, seeking a medical practitioner or cultivating a new friendship, many people overlook the importance of “interviewing each other” in order to find a good match.

Do you fear being rejected or being rejecting? Do you worrying about being hurt or hurting someone else’s feelings? What if it doesn’t have to be about rejection? What if we are like flowers; a rose, a tulip or a daisy, each with our own unique qualities, looking for a compatible matching flower?

It really doesn’t matter if you are a rose, tulip or daisy. What matters is that you consider who you are, your likes and dislikes, your values and needs, what you are willing to accept and where you aren’t willing to compromise.

Without judgment, it’s about whether you are a good match. It’s about what you bring out in each other, the synergy, if you can work together, support each other, and if it truly is a good fit. Honor yourself and the other person. Respect your differences if you are not a good match, say so and move on. It may be mutual.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

Why Rate Your Anger?

05 Monday Nov 2012

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Healthy Mind

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Acceptance, Accepting What Is, Act vs React, Anger, Anger and Parenting, anger level, Anger management, Decision Making, Frusration, Healthy Mind, Impaired Judgement, Rage, Rate Your Anger, Relationships, Shift Your Anger, Time-Outs for Adults

When was the last time you felt steaming mad and ready to blow? On a scale of 1-10, low levels of anger and frustration are a 1-4, while higher levels of anger, above a 7, can feel intense, and may impair your judgment and decision-making abilities.

When we are aware of how we feel, and to what degree we feel angry, then we can know how best to act rather than to react.

With low to mid-range levels of anger, it may be enough to look at a situation and consider your options. One option may be to accept what is, rather than how we want it to be or wish it was. For example, if you have a challenging child, it would be wise to accept and parent “that child,” rather than the one you wish you had. The same concept can be applied to relationships with a mate, friends and people you work with, as well as with other life situations.

If your anger level is a 7 or above, it is wise to hold off on making important decisions or driving. Take a time-out from the situation and do something physical, go for a walk, a run, do jumping jacks or stair climbing. If you need immediate relief, try washing your hands and/or face with ice-cold water. It can often shift the way you feel.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

What Good Does Anger Do?

22 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Healthy Mind

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Anger, Anger as a cue, Constructive Use of Anger, Emotion, Energy, Healthy Mind, Physical Outlet, Problem Solving, Relationships

Anger gives us a cue that something isn’t right and the energy to do something about it. Anger is felt when something isn’t the way we want it to be. It could be about a personal, family or work situation, or how someone is treating us. It could also be about a social injustice or societal cause.

The surge of energy that accompanies anger is important to recognize as useful for problem solving. It is best to channel this energy into something productive rather than destructive. For example, seeking out help or support in dealing with family conflicts, searching for a new job or career, taking the time to figure out options, or getting involved in making a difference on a social cause or health issue.

When you aren’t sure what to do with all that energy from feeling angry, put it into something physical, such as house cleaning, running, jumping jacks, or stair climbing. Then see if you can come up with some ideas to address your situation.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

I’m All Ears!

12 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Family Fun

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Connecting With People Who Matter, Eye Contact, Family Fun, Fun, Happiest Moments, Happiness, Laughter, Listening, One-on-One Time, Play, Relationships, Reply with kindness, Sharing Happiest Moments, Undivided Attention, What to say when you talk to your kids

When was the last time you felt someone give you their undivided attention? Our lives, and especially the lives of children today, are so busy, filled with things to do and places to be, that we rarely stop long enough to acknowledge each other, yet alone take the time to really listen.

Here are some suggestions to increase connections with people of all ages who matter to you:

1. Make eye-contact.

2. Stop what you are doing long enough to be present.

3. Schedule some one-on-one time to talk, laugh, play and have fun.

4. Give your full attention to the other person so that they may feel seen and heard.

5. Listen with interest.

6. Be curious and ask questions.

7. Put judgments aside.

8. Reply with kindness, encouragement or something positive.

9. Share your happiest moments of the day with each other.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

What to Say When You Talk to Your Kids, Self and Others!

21 Friday Sep 2012

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Family Fun, Healthy Mind

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Communication, Critical Comments, Family, Family and Relationships, Family Fun, Healthy Mind, Parenting, Parenting kids and teens, Positive Psychology, Put-downs, Relationships, Shad Helmstetter, What to say when you talk to your kids

Many adults were not brought up with positive encouraging comments, but rather critical negative put-downs. The following statements come from the book, Predictive Parenting; What to Say When You Talk To Your Kids, by Shad Helmstetter. While these statements may feel foreign at first, they are worth saying to your child, yourself, your spouse and any other human being!

That was really great! * You were wonderful! * You really do that well. * As always, you look good today. * You’re a winner! * I trust you. * I can always count on you. * You’re really smart. * People really like you. * I like the way you did that. * You’re really fun to be with. * You make me feel good. * You really take responsibility for yourself. * I like the way you keep your room neat. * You sure have a lot of energy. * You’re really positive! * You always seem to be able to keep yourself busy. * You ended up with the best of both your father and myself. * I really rely on you. * That was close. Next time I know you’ll make it. * Good Job! * You’re beautiful. * You’re very pretty. * You’re handsome. * You make every day brighter. * You sure have a nice smile. * I listen to what you have to say. * You’re a good friend. * You really get along well with other kids. * You’re an achiever. * I can tell you’re going to be successful in life. * You’re very creative. * I’ve noticed you’re a very good listener. * It’s obvious that you care about yourself. * You’re a good runner. * I’m proud of your schoolwork. * That’s much better. You’re doing great! * You’re really special. * I love you and I like you too! * You make hard things seem easy. * You really practice good manners. * There is no one else like you in the whole world. * I need your advice. * You sure are talented!

Go make someone’s day with a positive, uplifting personal comment!

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

Moment by Moment

18 Monday Jun 2012

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Healthy Mind

≈ 4 Comments

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All is Well, Anger, Anxiety, Basic Needs, Faith, Family, Fear, Financial Stress, Friends, Future, Health, Healthy Mind, Overwhelmed, Past, Positive Psychology, Relationships, Stress, Trust, Well-being, Worry

“I have everything I need in this very moment.” This is one my favorite statements I say to myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed, worrying about the future, or caught up about something in the past. That doesn’t mean I don’t make plans, set goals and make “To-Do” lists.

When you think about it, what do you really need? Saying, “I have everything I need in this very moment,” at a core level, is true. It’s a mind-set that can produce a sense of well-being by lowering stress, anxiety, fear, anger and resentment. You may need to pay a bill next week, deal with a difficult person at work or at a social gathering soon, or are worried about retiring in 20 years. Yet, today in this very moment, you are okay and have enough for right now.

As long as your basic needs are met each day, you truly have everything you need in this moment. Many of us are fortunate to have much more than our basic needs. We may have a computer or smart phone to access knowledge, a job to earn money, a car to get around, good friends or family who love you or a pet you are fond of. You may also have a body that functions well most days, allowing you to do all that you do in a day.

Have you noticed that over the course of your life, that most things work out? How many meals have you missed or nights have you not had a place to sleep? Take a moment to feel, that in this very moment, you have everything you need and you are okay. Have faith and trust that everything you need will show up. I’ve noticed that the more I live from the place of “all is well in this moment,” the more all is well in every moment.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis