Tag Archives: Fear

Time to Take Out the Trash

14 Monday Jan 2013

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Time To Take Out The Trash

Garbage in = garbage out, is a term often used when programming computers.  What if we looked at our brains like computers and acknowledged that we picked up some garbage along the way? By the time we are seven years old, we are pretty well programmed by the people who raised us, siblings, teachers, peers, religious organizations, television and society.

Think about the negative statements, judgments, rules and values that you were brought up with during childhood. You were too young to choose these, yet they became your primary programming for adulthood. Here are a few questions to show how “garbage in” produces “garbage out.” Are you kind to yourself?  Caught up in perfection? Tolerant of other’s mistakes?

As adults, we can begin to empty the garbage from our brains by becoming aware of the negative self-talk, fears, and self-defeating beliefs and habits that don’t serve us.  Thank them for being there and release them.  It’s time to take out the trash and let them go.  Make space for new ways of being towards yourself and others, with kindness and compassion.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

What’s Weighing You Down?

01 Tuesday Jan 2013

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What's Weighing You Down

What if achieving your desired healthy body and healthy weight wasn’t just about the food you eat?  What if unresolved thoughts, feelings, and experiences are what drives you to make the choices you make about your body? This includes what you feed it, if you exercise it, and basically whether you treat your body as a friend or foe.

Each one of us has gone through experiences throughout our lives that have been painful, fearful and heavy with emotion. Many people have experienced a significant illness, injury, loss, financial hardship, relationship or family conflict, and/or work or career related challenge.

What’s weighing you down? What experiences from your life, past or present, feel heavy? What burdens are you carrying around?  What’s weighing you down and preventing you from traveling with ease in a lighter healthier body?

Click the following: Navigating The World of Emotions for safe ways to express your feelings.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

What’s Under All That Anger?

03 Monday Dec 2012

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What's Under All That AngerHere is the third post in the series on anger.  It started with What Good Does Anger Do? then Why Rate Your Anger? Now we will look at what’s under all that anger.

Anger, with all of it’s intensity, can seem like a primary emotion, yet it’s really a secondary emotion. Below anger is always a deeper feeling of usually fear, hurt or sadness. For some people, feeling angry is an automatic reaction when triggered by an event; something someone said or didn’t say, or did or didn’t do. Or, we may feel angry at ourselves for things we said or did, opportunities we let pass by, etc. It’s less vulnerable to say you are feeling angry than to admit that you are feeling sad, scared, or hurt.

When we experience a surge of anger, bigger than it ought to be for the situation, it’s a clue that it is probably related to an old hurt from your past. Ask yourself: What might I be sad about? or What might I be scared about? The answer may give you a clue to what’s really going on within you.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

 

The risk it took to remain tight inside the bud…

10 Monday Sep 2012

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The risk it took to remain tight inside the bud... “The risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin.

We tend to hang on to what we know, either because we don’t know how to be any other way or because we fear the unknown that comes with changing, even if we don’t like it, it’s familiar.

Most of us don’t like change, yet alone big change, like blossoming into a beautiful flower or if you prefer, sprouting wings in a cocoon and then breaking free into a butterfly. At a certain point, we all go through events where we find ourselves in a position where it is more painful to stay the way we are than to take a risk and grow.

Last week I experienced one of those defining moments in regards to some negative feelings around celebrating my birthday. I took a risk and shared my long-standing buried feelings, some I didn’t even know I had, with some trusted friends.  The amount of support I received was amazing. Although it was uncomfortable at the time, it was no where as uncomfortable as tightly holding on to those feelings alone. I felt a sense of relief by sharing and knew that a huge shift took place, a blossoming!

Is there an area of your life you are ready to blossom in?

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

What Shall I Do With It?

20 Monday Aug 2012

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The tomato, beautiful and picked ripe from the garden.  What shall I do with it? Have you ever had something that you valued so much that you wanted to do something special with it, and by the time you decided the opportunity passed? The fruit aged, the flower you were going to cut and put in a vase wilted in the heat, or the shoes or outfit you were saving for a special occasion never were worn.

There are many reasons why we have difficulty deciding on how to enjoy something special.

1. There are too many choices, making it difficult to decide on one.

2.  When it’s gone, we won’t have it any more.

3. It’s too special to use or wear.

4. It was expensive.

5. It’s one of a kind and irreplaceable.

6. Fear of ruining it, wearing it out or using it up.

Enjoy something special today, use it, look at it, or wear it.  What are you waiting for?

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

Navigating The World of Emotions

09 Monday Jul 2012

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Navigating The World of EmotionsHonor and embrace your sadness, fear and anger.  Feel your feelings and let them pass through.  They won’t last long if you allow yourself to feel them fully, to discharge the energy they hold.  Unexpressed sadness and anger, turned inward, leads to depression, and left too long can lead to rage.  It’s important to find safe ways to express your feelings.

1. Talk to a trusted friend or therapist about how you feel.

2. Write letters expressing your feelings to people or entities, but DO NOT send them.

3. Use a journal to write about your feelings.

4. Express your emotions through art: paint, draw, color, use clay or playdough, or other forms of artistic expression.

5. Sit quietly and just allow the feelings to pass through you.  Be the observer watching you experience your emotions, knowing that they are not you and this will soon pass.

6. Use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) tapping. Go to YouTube and search for EFT Tapping.  You will see videos with introductions to tapping as well as for specific feelings and situations. EFT can easily provide relief from emotions quickly by discharging the energy of the feeling.

The more you allow yourself to feel emotions as they occur, the freer you will be to feel happiness and joy.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

Moment by Moment

18 Monday Jun 2012

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Moment by Moment“I have everything I need in this very moment.”  This is one my favorite statements I say to myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed, worrying about the future, or caught up about something in the past.  That doesn’t mean I don’t make plans, set goals and make “To-Do” lists.

When you think about it, what do you really need?  Saying, “I have everything I need in this very moment,” at a core level, is true.  It’s a mind-set that can produce a sense of well-being by lowering stress, anxiety, fear, anger and resentment. You may need to pay a bill next week, deal with a difficult person at work or at a social gathering soon, or are worried about retiring in 20 years. Yet, today in this very moment, you are okay and have enough for right now.

As long as your basic needs are met each day, you truly have everything you need in this moment. Many of us are fortunate to have much more than our basic needs.  We may have a computer or smart phone to access knowledge, a job to earn money, a car to get around, good friends or family who love you or a pet you are fond of.  You may also have a body that functions well most days, allowing you to do all that you do in a day.

Have you noticed that over the course of your life, that most things work out? How many meals have you missed or nights have you not had a place to sleep?  Take a moment to feel, that in this very moment, you have everything you need and you are okay.  Have faith and trust that everything you need will show up. I’ve noticed that the more I live from the place of “all is well in this moment,” the more all is well in every moment.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis