Tag Archives: Emotion

Ask For What You Want

25 Monday Feb 2013

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Ask For What You WantHow often do we complain, blame and criticize when it would be so much easier to just ask for what we want? Why is it so difficult to be direct rather than beating around the bush or expecting that people should know what we want?  We often wait, focusing on what we don’t have, and suffering in silence while building anger and resentment.

What would it be like to simply ask for what we want? That would require us taking responsibility to get our own needs met, and to be open to the possibility that if we ask, we may not get what we want.  Which is worse, feeling the disappointment or rejection of asking and not getting, or not asking in the first place?

No one person can provide all of our needs.  We may have to rely on friends or other support to help us. If we don’t ask for what we want and seek ways of attaining what is important to us, we most likely will not get it.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

What’s Under All That Anger?

03 Monday Dec 2012

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What's Under All That AngerHere is the third post in the series on anger.  It started with What Good Does Anger Do? then Why Rate Your Anger? Now we will look at what’s under all that anger.

Anger, with all of it’s intensity, can seem like a primary emotion, yet it’s really a secondary emotion. Below anger is always a deeper feeling of usually fear, hurt or sadness. For some people, feeling angry is an automatic reaction when triggered by an event; something someone said or didn’t say, or did or didn’t do. Or, we may feel angry at ourselves for things we said or did, opportunities we let pass by, etc. It’s less vulnerable to say you are feeling angry than to admit that you are feeling sad, scared, or hurt.

When we experience a surge of anger, bigger than it ought to be for the situation, it’s a clue that it is probably related to an old hurt from your past. Ask yourself: What might I be sad about? or What might I be scared about? The answer may give you a clue to what’s really going on within you.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

 

What Good Does Anger Do?

22 Monday Oct 2012

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AngeWhat Good Does Anger Do?r gives us a cue that something isn’t right and the energy to do something about it. Anger is felt when something isn’t the way we want it to be.  It could be about a personal, family or work situation, or how someone is treating us. It could also be about a social injustice or societal cause.

The surge of energy that accompanies anger is important to recognize as useful for problem solving. It is best to channel this energy into something productive rather than destructive.  For example, seeking out help or support in dealing with family conflicts, searching for a new job or career, taking the time to figure out options, or getting involved in making a difference on a social cause or health issue.

When you aren’t sure what to do with all that energy from feeling angry, put it into something physical, such as house cleaning, running, jumping jacks, or stair climbing. Then see if you can come up with some ideas to address your situation.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis