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Creating a Healthy Lifestyle

Creating a Healthy  Lifestyle

Category Archives: Healthy Mind

You Can Only Offer An Opportunity

22 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Healthy Mind

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Behaviors, Boundaries, Choices, Compromising, Consequences, Decisions, Decisions about Self, Decisions at Work, Decisions in Relationships, Disappointment, Effects of Choices, Expectations, Freewill, Healthy Mind, Mental health, Opportunities, Rewards, Saying No, Saying Not in That Way, Saying Not Now, Saying Yes, Self-serving Choices, Self-serving decisions, Threats

You Can Only Offer An Opportunity

We can make an opportunity attractive to another person (adult or child) with a reward or with a threat, but ultimately it’s the other persons’ choice to decide what they will do.

When we want someone to do something they don’t want to do, rather than getting disappointed or angry at them, think about the times when you use your freewill to decline an opportunity from someone else.

We always have the choice of saying “yes or no,”  or “not now or not in that way.”  Every decision we make, whether it’s deciding to do or not do something, for ourselves or another person, has a consequence and an effect on ourselves and others.

Today, think about what you are expecting of others and what others are expecting of you. Before you answer, ask yourself if what you are being asked to do is something you want to do, don’t mind doing, or actually enjoy doing. We often choose to do things we would rather not do because they are self-serving, such as tasks at work, compromising to maintain relationships, and exercising or going to bed early to take care of our bodies.

Remember, you can never get anyone to do anything. You can only give them the opportunity to choose, and the choice is always theirs.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

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Finding My Way Home

18 Monday Mar 2013

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Healthy Mind

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Creating a Happier Experience, Doing it Differently, Frustration, Happiness, heading in the right direction, Health, Healthy Mind, Honoring Yourself, Love, Mental health, Robert Holden, second guessing, Self-Love, Stress, Uncertainty, Well-being

Finding My Way HomeLast night I was leaving San Jose where I had just heard Robert Holden, the author of Happiness Now speak. I was feeling happy, peaceful and filled with love. I got in my car and expected to be home in just over an hour.

I had confidence in being able to follow the freeway signs and navigate my way home. After 15 minutes I realized I wasn’t traveling on the same freeway I took to get there. I followed signs to San Francisco, knowing I was heading in the right direction, yet 30 minutes later I still was second guessing if I was on a route that was going to get me home to the East Bay.

Then, I had an epiphany. Recognizing that my feeling of happiness was being gradually taken over by stress, frustration and uncertainty, and wanting to get back to feeling happy, I had I asked myself, “What could I have done differently that would have been loving to myself?”

The answer was clear. The most loving thing I could do for myself when unfamiliar with an area would be to get out a map or turn on the navigation in my car or on my phone BEFORE driving.

I eventually made it home, as I always do, and I’m looking forward to creating a different experience for myself next time. What’s one area of your life where you could be more loving towards yourself?

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

Overwhelmed By Choices

04 Monday Mar 2013

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Appeals to Me, Choices, Decisions, Healthy Mind, Including Self in Decision Making, Overwhelmed by Choices, Something For ME

Overwhelmed By ChoicesI was looking for a new lamp for my office last week and found myself overwhelmed by all of the choices. I started to question whether it was just about that there were too many choices or if there was something else going on.

I approached my lamp search like I do most things for me. Find something practical, that will do the job, and not cost too much money.

What if I started my search for a lamp by looking for something that was appealing to me, and that I would want to look at daily? I realized that what was missing in MY lamp search was ME.

The new lamp, although nice, is going back.  I decided to keep the one I have, even though I have to plug it in every time I want to use it, because I like the way it looks and the amount of light it provides.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

Ask For What You Want

25 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Healthy Mind

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Anger, Asking, Asking For What You Want, Beating Around The Bush, Being Direct, Complaining, Disappointment, Emotion, Getting Your Needs Met, Healthy Lifestyle, Healthy Mind, Mental health, Rejection, Relationships, resentment, Suffering in Silence

Ask For What You WantHow often do we complain, blame and criticize when it would be so much easier to just ask for what we want? Why is it so difficult to be direct rather than beating around the bush or expecting that people should know what we want?  We often wait, focusing on what we don’t have, and suffering in silence while building anger and resentment.

What would it be like to simply ask for what we want? That would require us taking responsibility to get our own needs met, and to be open to the possibility that if we ask, we may not get what we want.  Which is worse, feeling the disappointment or rejection of asking and not getting, or not asking in the first place?

No one person can provide all of our needs.  We may have to rely on friends or other support to help us. If we don’t ask for what we want and seek ways of attaining what is important to us, we most likely will not get it.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

It’s All In How We Show Up

18 Monday Feb 2013

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Being Invisible, Creating Your Life, Greeting Others, Greeting Our Day, Greeting Ourselves, Healthy Mind, Holding Back, How We Show Up, Making Things Happen, Saying Hello, Showing Up, Waiting On The Sidelines

It's All In How We Show UpSome of us are more comfortable waiting on the sidelines, waiting to see what’s going to happen and how events will unfold. We tend to be more invisible, the ones who wait for others to approach us and say hello first.

Just because we have been a certain way doesn’t mean we must continue to be that way. What would it be like to greet our day, greet ourselves, and greet others with enthusiasm, wonder, curiosity, and interest? Imagine showing up to meet life and to create your day rather than waiting to see what the day brings.

Be the first to say good morning, hello, or good day. Show up for YOU and watch what YOU make happen!

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

It Could Be As Simple As Changing The Channel

11 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Healthy Mind

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Asking For Help, Asking for Ideas, Asking for Support, Brainstorming, Change, Changing What You Don't Like, Creating a Healthy Lifestyle, Creating Routines, Evening Routine, Health, Healthy Mind, improving your health, Making Changes, Making Major Changes, Making Minor Changes, meditation time, Morning Routine, Physical Activity, Reducing Stress, Self-Help, simple solution, Stepping Stones

It Could Be As Simple As Changing The ChannelIf you don’t like something on TV you change the channel, and if you don’t like something in your life, little or big, why not change it too? If only it could be that simple.  With a little thought, maybe it can be.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Look for a simple solution and if that is not possible, consider a variety of options and write them down.

2. Can you easily make the change all at once? Some changes are simple like moving an item that you use often to a more convenient place, or changing your morning routine or evening routine to include some physical activity, reading or meditation time.

3. Prepare for bigger changes that may take time to plan, like a job change, a move, significantly improving your health or changes that impact other people. Create “stepping-stones” to get you to your destination. If you don’t feel good about how you have been eating and want to get healthier, write down the steps necessary to get there. This may include finding healthy recipes, making a menu, making a shopping list, buying the items on the list, and preparing the meals.

4. If you don’t like something and don’t know what to do about it, consider asking someone with experience or expertise for assistance with ideas and options. Remember to also ask friends and family for support and if needed, help with carrying out your change.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

Inspiration in The Shower

05 Tuesday Feb 2013

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Creativity, Flow, Healthy Mind, Ideas in she shower, Inspiration, Inspiration in the shower, Mental health, Water

Inspiration in The ShowerHave you ever noticed that your best ideas come to you when you are in the shower or if you are a guy, while shaving? You may get a solution to a problem you have been dealing with or a burst of creativity.

No one really knows why we get inspiring messages around water.  It may have something to do with the flow of water leading to the flow of ideas, or it could be that showering puts us in the state of flow, similar to meditation, allowing us to connect to our intuition. During this time we are open to receiving information while not distracted by electronics, other people or multi-tasking.

Let the ideas flow!

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

Reclaim The Space In Your Head

28 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Healthy Mind

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Anger, DIY, Forgiveness, Forgiveness Ceremony, Forgiveness Process, Happiness, Healthy Mind, Letter Writing, Mental health, Pain, Peace, Peace Through Forgiveness, Reclaim The Space In Your Head, Reclaim Your Thoughts, resentment, Sadness

Reclaim The Space In Your HeadIt may be time to reclaim the space in your head taken up by thoughts of people who have hurt you. How often do you think about someone you resent? If you are harboring anger and resentment towards someone it may be time to clear out those thoughts.

Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. It’s not about them.  It’s not about forgetting what they have done.  It’s not about agreeing with them.  It’s about you coming to terms with what happened, letting it go, and reclaiming the space they take up in your head.

The following is a process that you can do privately or with support of a trusted friend or mental health professional.  This process does not include any interaction with the person you have resentment towards.

1. Decide that you want peace around this person or event.

2. Write down all of the hurtful things you experienced.

3. Write (but don’t send) a letter to the person expressing your feelings of anger, resentment, hurt, pain, sadness, etc.

4. Next, write to the person what you needed and didn’t get, how you would have liked it to be.

5. Look over all of your writings.  Fully experience what ever feelings come up.

6. When you are ready, declare your forgiveness. If you desire, you can symbolize your forgiveness by safely burning your writings, shredding them or burying them.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

Something To Look Forward To (Part 2)

21 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Family Fun, Healthy Mind

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Different, Family Fun, Fun, Having Fun, Healthy Mind, Looking Forward to Something, People to see, Places to Visit, Positive Psychology, Something to Look Forward to, Special, Things to do, Things to look forward to

Something To Look Forward To (Part 2)Last week I wrote about the benefits of having something to look forward to in “What are you looking forward to?” Today, lets look at some ideas of what you might consider looking forward to and putting on the calendar. Select some things that are fun, special or different, to do today, tomorrow, in a week, in a month, next season and/or next year.

Here’s a list to get you started:

Getting together with a friend or two for a walk, lunch or tea

Going to the movies

Game night at home or with another family

Play time at a park

A trip to the zoo, amusement park or miniature golf

A vacation to another area, state or country

Bowling, skating, skiing, swimming, or playing tennis

A weekend away

Attending a concert, play or sporting event

Your birthday

Being pampered with a facial or massage

A drive to the mountains or beach

Play tourist in your own backyard or the next city over

Trying a new restaurant

Participating in a 5k, 10k, half-marathon or full marathon

Celebrating the next holiday on the calendar

May you, your friends and family, have lots of things to look forward to this year!

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

What Are You Looking Forward To?

18 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by creatingahealthylifestyle in Family Fun, Healthy Mind

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Tags

Day Dream, Family Fun, Fun, Happiness, Increased Productivity, kindness, Looking Forward to Something, Meditation, Mental health, Positive Psychology, Smiling, Special, special occasion, Tolerant, Well-being

What Are You Looking Forward ToNo matter what your age, having something to look forward to that’s fun, special or different can help us get through our day-to-day routine.

Anticipating an upcoming event, outing or get-together, builds excitement and may even cause us to daydream about it, similar to being in meditation.

When have something to look forward to we may experience ourselves smiling more, being more kind to others and ourselves, and more tolerant of things that normally annoy us. In other words, having something to look forward may have a positive affect on our happiness, well-being, and even our productivity.

What are you looking forward to?

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis

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