We can be our own worst enemy, talking to ourselves in ways that we would never talk to our friends. It’s common for people to be harder on themselves than anyone else is.  Yet, this ingrained automatic thinking comes from an inner critic that can interfere with our efforts to be happy and healthy, to have satisfying relationships or to reach work or financial goals.

Negative self talk can be changed with some effort and awareness on your part.  Here are some ways to go from being your own worst enemy to being your own best friend:

1. Make friends with your inner critic.  Become aware of what it says to you and when it shows up.

2. When you have critical thoughts, say “Stop, take two,” silently or out loud, then, just like in filming a movie, redo the scene use a cheerleading statement (see #3).

3. Use one of the following “Cheerleading Statements” from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) to get a better handle on your situation and feelings:

– I have the right to ask for help and emotional support.

– I can be anxious and still deal with this situation.

– I cannot control how other people will act towards me or react to me.

– Today I will be calm and confident.

– I may want to please people I care about, but I do not have to do it all the time.

– The richness of the present-moment experience is the richness of life itself.

Love, Health & Happiness,

Phyllis